How To Keep Your Kids From Getting Sick

There’s nothing worse than being awakened by a still small voice saying, “Mommy, I don’t feel good.” Mostly because that voice is usually followed by a projectile body fluid and days of soggy tissues, stain remover and sleeplessness.

But, it doesn’t have to be this way. Follow these helpful tips, and you too can avoid certain couch fabric destruction.

1. Stay On High Alert

Peruse Facebook and other social media outlets for signs that kids in your area are fighting a “bug.” Contact your local health department and find out if any of those previously-eradicated diseases have come to your area. Sign up for health alerts from all of the 24-hour news networks, just in case there’s another outbreak of SARS (hey, it could happen).

2. Seal the Perimeter

Put all socializing and interacting with people on immediate lockdown. No children in and no children out. Germs can’t hitch a ride on Johnny’s dripping nose if Johnny’s not allowed inside your home.

3. Sanitize Everything

If you must leave the house, make sure germs cannot breach the perimeter. Use as many cart wipes as it takes to assure yourself that all of the germs leftover from the man with the hacking cough have been terminated. And make hand sanitizer available at all times—belt clip, keychain, cup holder, bathroom sink, kitchen table, tree house.

4. Never Touch Surfaces With Your Bare Hand

Bathroom door handles, toilet flushers, plastic utensils in an open cup and elevator buttons can all be handled safely with an extra paper towel or an extended shirt sleeve.

5. Realize Your Efforts are Futile

Once you have done everything humanly possible to create a germ-free environment, you will realize that those little germ carriers you call children will inevitably lick the shopping cart handle before you’ve sanitized it, drop their toothbrush in the toilet and continue using it and share a lollipop with the kid at the doctor’s office.

Just take a deep breath…and hold it. You don’t want to get sick, too.